EDITORS NOTE:
The tape of the following transcript was sent to us wrapped in a copy of the Wall Street Journal, with the words THE CRASH WAS FIXED ITS ALL A FUCKING DISNEY SCAM!!! Written across the it. We don’t know what this really means. but the Author has left the center, and we are not sure where he is. we have warrants listed in twenty state, the others are pending. As always, if you meet the Author, be afraid, be very afraid...... Here it goes.
LAWYERS NOTE:
The views expressed in the following does not necessarily represent the views of this publication. All complaints and lawsuits, should be sent to the Author, or his cat.
AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
I was sitting here in my , waiting to catch the spreads off of the net, waiting for the Demerol and Prozac to take effect, when my channel surfing came to a halt on CNN. That’s how I found out the Britons hottest pair of legs that can’t sing had died! I spit out my Cohiba in disbelief! then through the blue and purple haze of the current multiple dose I started to learn the truth that the Huntress was hunted down and killed by the scum of the media world. They wanted her and now they have her torn and bloody lump of shredded flesh right where they want her, RIGHT ACROSS THE FUCKING FRONT PAGE!
And then there is the woman, who is truly a Saint. Did I just say saint? I must be slipping, the drugs aren’t enough, I need to mix there asses with some fucking 101 proof Austin! Smeg head bring me my bottle! and bring it to me now! Hurry up Cat! I’m having religious flash back, Smegger bring me that fucking bottle now!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Meow!
EDITORS NOTE:
A tape delay, as the Author drinks and the cat Meows
As I watch the fucking procession, I am fucking bored, outta my drug addled mind, would Mother Teressa get such coverage? Fuck no! Fuck, that woman lived with the people she tried to help. She didn’t stop by and then go back to the fucking Waldorf for Champagne and Caviar, and coke with Dodi. No! she lived in the fucking slime and squalor!!! I would of really like to have seen that Diana chick hang out in a Calcutta slum and eat with the untouchables, sleep on a bare dirt floor. hell, Diana was a nice piece of Ass, a fucking hell of allot better than the Priscilla Bowles whore that Charles is slippin’ it into, but I digress, with a social conscious, but Muther fucking Teressa, was a truly a special person, more worthy of the fucking fifteen seconds of time her death received, by the fucking screwheads in the Media.
In the end, it is the Media that must look at its fucking pocked and puss filled face in the slime encrusted mirror that it calls home, and say OOOPPS! This dichotomy reminds me of when the King died, and how his death was over shadowed by the poor white trash from Memphis decided to call it quits in a shitter of Graceland. Damn it! Groucho was a god and that hillbilly got all the press! This is all too alike! I can’t take the symbolism. Smegger! Bottle now!!! Put down that fucking cat toy and bring me my Austin like a good Pussy!
EDITORS NOTE:
The tape pauses, as the Author drinks himself into a stupor. We did hear the sounds of cat slurping up the spilled Austin, then there is a slurred meow and a small thud.
I’m back!
As I look back at the coverage of the funeral, I notice as the Babe leaves the church, it come to me. She now has what she wanted ever since she married the Dumbo eared Muther fucker. The press has left alone. As her casket is removed, there are no flashes from the press cameras. Only in death a has she found peace. God, I want a drink, where’s that fucking cat, and my bottle! I bet the little fucker is hoarding the bottle for himself! I’ll teach him! What the hell is that fucker on doing on my TV!!!! Last time I saw him, he was talking about the Russian’s not taking a Shit if they aint got a plan. He should of heeded his own advise. What the hell was he fucking thinking! Didn’t he think that if he went after Democratic fund raising that he’d shine the light on his own parties dark side. How dumb can this muther fucker be? I’ve knowing inbred dogs that were smarter than this ignorant son of a bitch! The only thing that I find more insulting than this investigation, is that we , the people let it go on. This was the biggest waste of our money, outside of the city of Irwindale giving that Dick, Al Davis fucking millions of dollars for the Raiders. What a fucking scam! Then there is that obsolete investigation of White Water, another complete waste of time and money. What started out as a Republican Witch hunt is ending , with a whimper. like what the fuck did they think that they would find. Besides it happened before the "fucker" was President. I want a fucking refund! Give it to me in Austin. I f they don’t , I will picket the fucking Capitol, with my Compadre to demand my Austin. They should be responsible to us when the waste our fucking money!Speaking of a waste of time, there is that suit from that braces wearing Republican white trash whore, called Paula Jones. I almost had respect for that piece of poor white trash, until she hooked up with that Macmillan Bitch, who is nothing more that a Republican hack.
The stage is set for this farce. We have a piece of poor White Trash, against the fucker of the Americas. And all she has to say, is that she saw the first dick! According to the fucker’s attorney, it aint a match. Now I know that Lawyers are full of shit, and we all know this. But I have a bigger question. Where the FUCK was the sexual harassment. if he did expose the little Bill to the Trash, how could that be sexual harassment. All that happened, was that the first Dick got turned down. Wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. But Jesus, if every woman who turned down a sexual proposition sued, nothing would get done! This Bitch should get a fucking clue! But she has become as what she started out as, a lowly pawn of the Republicans slimy war on the Presidency! She has no case, she has no basis on reality. She should just shut the fuck up and fade away! Like my last case of the clap, that I got on that trip south of the border. Ahh, what a time I had, with her and her full size Barbie, ahhh she was so young.
I need to drown my sorrows in a large tank of either! That’s is only thing that will help me to forget her little Tuesday panties. Ahhhhhhhhh.
EDITORS NOTE:
The tape has the sound of an inhalant being take, a pause and the sound of what we think was the Author’s
body, hitting the floor. There was a great deal of silence after that. I’m back!!!! If Sadam doesn’t want us to look at something, Let fucking bomb its ass to dust! That sounds fucking reasonable to me. hell, we should of offed his fucking rag headed ass eight years ago! But noooo! We let his ass alone, to fuck with us again. It’s time that a democrat finished what a republican started!!!!!Gotta go got tot stoke up the supplies, for El Nino. I need to go and get cases of Austin and bullets. this fucker will bring chaos! There will be few survivors here in Lotus land. We will again become the water logged lotus, once again!
But we shall see, I have to go and fill up sand bags, to protect my Austin!Smegger bring me my Austin!
EDITORS NOTE:
We heard the sound of the author running after his cat, and the sound, of a bottle being pushed around the floor.