Editors note:

We found this last tape, wrapped in a copy of the Vanity Fair "Monica Issue" Across the pages of the magazine, was the phrase, FUCK THEM ALL! FUCK THEM ALL! We think it was written by the Author, but we’re not sure. We have yet to meet his cat. Here is the latest installment of the Dubious Affairs Memos.

As we always say, we are not responsible for the content of this memo. Any comments should be sent back to the author. We have tried to get him to seek help, but to no avail. Well here it is.

YEEEEE HAAAAAAA !!!!!!!! LORDY LORDY LORDY!!!!!! YEEEEEEEESASSSSSSSS!

What a fucking night!!! Karma is a real fucking painful and spiteful bitch! As the anal retentive puritan prick Republicans found out last night in the elections!!!!! I voted and then proceeded to get lost into a compete and total inhalant induced fade! As as I saluted our political process with various appropriate gasses and other thangs! My mind soon faded into oblivion, I have no recall of what I did, but when I returned I was smoking a cigar and stroking my throbbing love muscle with a blue Gap dress, and denying everything! After staining a great deal of the dress, I rolled over on my cat, which was painful to the both of us, and flicked on the television.

I was greeted by the fucking vision of his royal assness, Da Newt, looking like a puppy that had took a massive shit, on his masters carpet, and acting like a cell bitch that had been just fucked up the ass for the first time, I don't think that this is the first time that Da Newt has taken it up the ass, and I don’t think it will be the last. A non drug induced smile crossed my face for the first time since the Republican fucks took over the Congress. The only thing that could compare to this was watching that fellow whacker, Jimmy Swaggert cry to his uptight Christian folk "please forgive me" Yeah right! Fuck 'em both!!!

As I slowly recovered from my glee of Da Newt getting it up the ass. I was greeted by the face of the Governor elect of Minnesota! The one and only Jesse the fucking body Ventura!!!! All I could say out of my feeble mind, was what a fucking country!!! Jesus Christ, he beat a fucking Humphrey in Minnesota! The last one to do that was fucking Nixon, may he burn in Hell! To quote the "Body". "I's payback time!!" I can't wait for his first state of the state address, when he power drives or body slams on of the members of the house, who don't agree with him. All I can Say is Jesse in 2000. We had a man who pounded the muff, now we can get a man who could pound the Newt! I like it! OOOOOh Yeaaahhhh, and Gorilla Monsoon would be his V.P. I love this strange and twisted fucking country that I habitat in! The revolution has begun! The Weird have taken power!! It is a fucking glorious day in this country! The screwheads days are numbered! the weird will conquer it all!!!!

Now, let me get back to his Newtness! How fucking dumb, can this muther fucker be? Can't this asshole read? I think not, and I quote.... "I totally underestimated...the whole scandal just became story of disgusting by sheer repletion. Pardon my Values. DUDE! What the funk was this Nimrod thinking, as he ran all those lets string up the orally satisfied fucker commercials? So, the man lied about having his slong serviced and slurped by some fat fucking bitch! I would of done the same thing, with Hillary as a wife, hell, I know that she has probably Bobited the fucker! Either that, or she "Something About Mary'd" him. Either way, I know that, she has taken the first dick out of commision, and put it on injured reserve, for the next two years! Just the way that she fucking likes it!

Then his Newtness seemed to get a fucking clue, "Maybe we should have focused on the issues". You fucking think eh? What a fucking Schmuck! As the North Korean's were launching rockets over the sushi eaters in Hokaido, and the entire Russian social-economic system was collapsing, and all his Newtness and his other asshole cronnies were talking about was the first slong getting serviced that ignorant fat bitch, with the beret. Helloooo! I know that Republicans are dumb, but even this one fucking escapes me. Yet, while the Republicans were in some kind of sexually repressive circle jerk, what a damn oxy-moron that is, but that is the Republicans. The First dick helped to bring peace in Ireland and in the sands of the Middle East, and the last President to get that close to doing good, was that Looser Carter. What the fuck is up with that?

Figaro we must celebrate this fucking dump on those Republican fucks! Bring me My Austin my good cat!

EDITORS NOTE:

There is a sound of a rolling bottle and the sounds of the Author drinking deeply from from the bottle, then the thud. There were a few meows after the thud.

Wow baby I’m back! Ooooh yeaah!

And what to my bleary wondering eyes should appear, but the Newtness resigning, his glory and status. I hope they ride that little fuck out on the rail that he has had stuck up his ass, for the last six years. His dreams of the Presidency are as limp as Bob Dole without Viagra. God this place has a chance to become a great fucking country! Now, all we have to do is get that damn asswipe Hyde to get a fucking clue. His youthful indiscretion was just his rutting pleasures, that we could care less about, as were Bill's hummers. This was all just a god damn fucking set up by that anal retentive puritan named Starr. this is all just a complete waste of my time. Fuck it!

CAT BRING ME BACK MY BOTTLE! I NEED TO DISINFECT MYSELF FROM ALL THIS OVERLY MORAL REPUBLICAN BULLSHIT!!!!

The tape ends.