EDITORS NOTE: This is the second anniversary of the strange and tormented tale of our author. Once again, our author has picked the time of the Winter Olympics, in Norway to contact us. The transcript starts on the date of January 17th in the very early morning, in what was the biggest surprise of all, it started out written. Shit the asshole can spell. It concludes some time later on tape. As per the authors strange and twisted ways, the manuscript was found, nailed to the red building inspection tag, placed on the Northridge Meadows apartments. It has been rumored, that the author lived on the first floor. This we can not verify.
Well, the Denny verdicts came in. Two out of three ain't bad. OH GOD A MEATLOAF FLASHBACK !!!!!! NO, NO, I WON'T DO THAT!! What a fucking time we've had here in the burnt out remains of Lotus land. Excuse me!!!! But what the fuck was a Chinese emigrant lighting a fire for, when it was fucking eighty degrees! Because he was cold?? Give me a fucking break! The only person who would be fucking cold at eighty degrees, would be the dark lord Satan himself. Holy Shit !!!!!!!!!!! Satan is a chinese homeless man in Los Angeles!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it was so.
As I sit here, waxing mirthfully on the first year of the Clinton administration Iask , what have we changed? Politics is still Politics.
WHAT THE
FUCK IS THIS !!!
I DIDN'T TAKE ANY THING
O D I
T O TH S!!!
THE I'M !!!
GE IN FUCK OF HE
T TG OUT RE!!
THE WORLD IS ENDINGSADJOWQEFO:HIJU!!! QWERD HOQWERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS ONE MHER F R OF AN EARTHQUAKE!
CK !!
!!! UT U E
hoLy FuckiN! shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDITORS NOTE: The manuscript stops here, and is changed back to the tape recorded transcipt that we have come to expect.
As I sit outside of the tattered remains of my apartment, I hope that my compadre has survived this latest butt fucking by mother nature! I am lost, my "Austin" shattered in the quake. THERE IS NO GOD!!!!! I think that I'll take a straw to the floor of my kitchen, there is Austin there I can smell it
EDITORS NOTE: There is the sound of the author entering his home. Then there is a loud sucking and slurping sound. The author was busy for awhile and there is a great time gap in his narration.
As I sit here watching all those short haired ugly women in flannel cheer the verdict in the BOBBIT decision, I'm becoming ill! I need pain killer and I need it now.
EDITORS NOTE: There is the sound of the author gulping his Austin and the sound of an aerosol of some form. Then the traditional thud and silence.
WHACK BOBBIT SNIP BOBBIT BOBBIT BOBBIT!
I,m back!!!!!
I think that John Wayne should sue the fucking bitch! Wait what kind of name is that for a man who falls asleep and lets his wife turn him from rooster to hen. There is no fucking way the DUKE would let Katherine O'hara take a whack at the little DUKE. I mean what man isn't going to wake up when someone grabs Mr. Happy! Fuckin! Eh!!!!! What a fucking putz!
Jesus Christ another fucking Winter Olympics with a CLASSIC ROCK soundtrack! Well, I at least think Tonya Harding-Gambino, the hit lady of figure skating, will be skating to "Jeremy". Yeah, and that little tramp was "out" of the loop, Right.
STILL NO FUCKING G-STRINGS!!!!!! I thought Tonya would be wearing one, when she skates to the music from the royal wedding, just like she did on Hard Copy. I mean, it was to be expected, especially after she came out onthe the ice tarted up like the whore of Babylon.
OH MY GOD IT IS A SIGN, SATAN IN LA! THE EARTH QUAKE! And NOW THE WHORE OF BABYLON. (Rev: chap 17) IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!! COMPADRE SADDLE UP ITS TIME TO GO TO NAHLINS!! WE CAN SAVE THE WORLD IN NAHLINS!!!!!
But I digress.
I'M BACK!!!!
This is a personal note to all of my loyal readers. When you go out and gnaw on the marrow of life, remember where you are! If you mix your medications, mix correctly! Not like that whiny pencil neck geek of a mumble mouth singer, Kurt Cobain, what an asshole. He tried to pull a fuckin' Jimmy. Hell, I thought that Vedder was going to be the first one of generation X's rock royalty to pull a fuckin' Jimmy! Jesus at least Vedder has the anti-hero angst, like Morrison. Not that fucking Cobain weasel. But what do you expect from a man who marries a skanky, smack shooting ho, god she's an ugly bitch. So, just remember leave some brain cells functioning, so you can walk to the hospital to get your stomach pumped!
I've got to stop now, me and my Compadre have to get out of this burned out riot ravaged, rumbling carcass of a city. We are now on a mission to save humanity. We will go to that city and track down that Mojo that we insulted on our last visit. Then we will render to the mojo what is the mojo's. There is no limit to what we will do. We will sacrifice a virgin if we have to! Now, I say to my Compadre LETS RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDITORS NOTE: We pray for the City of New Orleans. There is no telling what the author and his Compadre can do to that poor and innocent town. BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID.